A Belated Birthday Dinner

My daughter took me to dinner Monday night as a slightly belated birthday celebration. We chatted for a good two hours enjoying good food at Cheesecake Factory then taking our cheesecake desserts home. Discussions ranged from how bra manufacturers seem to each have their own way to measure sizes to how her kids are doing in school.

I discussed an unexpected email I got from someone, an email I never expected to get yet did. I won’t say more here since I know a certain someone stalks my blog and I’d rather she and her husband not know what this is. But I’ll mention that it pleased me to no end. Perhaps that little tweak of the nose will aggravate her further. And my daughter concurred that such an email was a very good thing.

I also saw my lawyer on Tuesday. Things are going to move faster than I expected but this is rewarding to have happen this way. The last legal vestiges of “him” are about to vanish forever in a few weeks time. During the small talk early in the consultation, my lawyer asked me if I had any children. I replied yes, all adults, and gave their ages. She stared at me and then asked in an incredulous voice, “How old are you?” I replied with my age and she shook her head, saying she thought I was almost 20 years younger. I thanked her, and just smiled.

I also have a photo, taken by my daughter, the night she took me out. I got a surprising number of nice comments about that photo, something that I’m still trying to wrap my brain around. This relates to something I don’t think I’ve covered in this blog. Not too many sessions ago, with my therapist, I was put on the hotseat by a random question from her – what are you going to do when guys start hitting on you? I guess it was a deer-in-the-headlights moment because she laughed and further asked, “You don’t realize how attractive you are, do you?” More frozen non-response… More laughter from her and “I see we have something new to discuss.” She’s aware that I am absolutely uninterested in any sort of relationship until after GCS but as she pointed out, people won’t know that just by looking so I’ll have to come up with some other way of waving off the charging bulls until that day comes that I am ready to consider it.

 

Birthday-2014-1

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5 thoughts on “A Belated Birthday Dinner

    • Thanks, but it’s really just a random collection of thoughts by one transwoman as she undertakes her journey of self-discovery. I’ve written about grief, anger, sadness, fear, happiness, outrage, and more, and I’m sure that I’ll write more about those yet again in the future.

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    Savor your moments! Keep them new and fresh!

    I perused a curious article a few weeks ago that re-stated how estrogen and progesterone help keep cells young. Could be we M-F changes get a boost that makes us look younger than our years. As I posted at another of your pages – you are looking good and you will have guys asking for you. This will be like your teen years in reverse. You know what you did when you asked a girl out; now you are the date.

    Remember, you may or not inform your prospects of your change. You will need to assess each relationship as it progresses. If your circle of friends are pro-trans friendly, that helps. Your blog site also kinda makes you public, but not all your dates may know (or some may object to your public persona). It gets tricky; your counsellor will help you.

    If you choose not to tell up-front, remember that your boyfriend (or girlfriend if you so choose) will presume that you have X number of years of sexual experience as a female. So if your are age 50, that means your would have an average of 30 years of female sexual experience if you began at age 20. During those 30 years you would have had at least one long-term partner and perhaps any number of short-time partners according to your story.

    This is when telling and being public can be beneficial because your new partner will take your current virginity or novitiate into consideration. If you are lucky, your partners will enjoy reading your blogs. Those are keepers!

    I can recall the first time my dad saw me with a guy (1985). My dad came to make a surprise visit; he saw me in walking hand-in-hand with my boyfriend as he arrived at the apartment parking lot. I can only imagine what must have been going through his thoughts. My concern was that I had not told this boyfriend because I was not certain where we were going with our relationship. I was concerned if my dad said something or exploded.

    Be carefull. Go slow. Enjoy!

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