A Small Smile in November

This last weekend, I bought and tried on my first pair of leggings. I got a black set and a purple set, and of course, I chose to wear the purple set the first time. They fit wonderfully and I love the feel on my legs. I think they look pretty good too.

This prompted me to revisit an outfit I’d put together but wasn’t quite happy with at the time. It’s a knee length black skirt and a purple mid-sleeve blouse. I put those together with my favorite open toed sandals and everything clicked! It was right and I felt right about it.

This got me to thinking about my own comfort zones. I’ve been really reluctant to wear mid-length or shorter skirts, preferring longer skirts and dresses. I’m critical of my own legs though two different cisgender female friends have insisted that I have “great pins”, as one of them said. So I’m beginning to think that leggings, and later maybe stockings might be a way to get past those hyper critical thoughts about my legs.

We’ll see. In the end, I enjoyed that moment for what it was. Looking in the mirror, I see more and more of Liz and less and less of him staring back at me. Yes, there are some things that still trigger me, like the heavy beard shadow, but that too shall pass over the next year or so.

Next big goal? Losing 15-20 more pounds. At 5 foot, 10 inches, I want to be around 155 to 160 pounds, not 175 pounds. Honestly, I’d love 150 even but I’m not sure if I can get there. Again, we’ll see.

And the final observation? Estrogen, finasteride, and spiro, plus minoxidil and now adding microneedling of the scalp with a dermaroller do appear to be thickening my hair slowly. This could be a multi-year process before I feel comfortable without a wig, if I ever even get there, but it does seem I’m moving in the right direction.


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