Things are rarely what we think they are

Yesterday, I met someone I met via an online transgender forum. She knew I lived in this city and was here on business so she asked if we might meet. We did and ended up chatting for four hours when we planned on two.

In person she’s rather different than she presents herself online. I was pleased. We have a lot more in common than I originally thought and we hit it off rather well. Our discussions were far ranging, at least in the trans universe, from her extensive experiences (she transitioned over a decade ago) to my experiences thus far (I’m a fledgling newbie at this by comparison!), to trans politics, to health care in general, to our children, to rejection and then acceptance, often from the people who rejected us first.

Her experiences give me some hope that my own children may mellow and begin to accept me as I move further into my transition and they realize that they can either include me or exclude me but not sit on the fence.

In other matters, I read one of the more beautiful blog entries I’ve read in a while at Transgenderless titled “B is for (a New) Beginning“. (NOTE: As of 2015, this blog appears to be gone, sadly.) This made me smile, to read about another transwoman who is beginning to blossom into her womanhood.

In my own transition, I keep plodding alone, slowly but surely, like a turtle. But I expect things to pick up significantly over the next 16 months. As always, everything is subject to finances and being able to pay for things up front, so I can only go as fast as I can save.

Still, I am now optimistic about a couple things coming up soon, one of which is beginning electrolysis with E3000. I did get an appointment, in December rather than January, so that’s really good.

And I have to make a decision. I’ve been invited to be a maid of honor at a friend’s wedding in the spring of 2014. I want to go and I’m afraid of going, strange as that may sound. My biggest fear is becoming a spectacle at my friend’s wedding and detracting from that day for her and her fiance. But I’d love to go, and to be her maid of honor.

So I’ll spend some more time fretting, fussing, and wondering but within another month or so I need to decide. Arrangements need to be made.


10 thoughts on “Things are rarely what we think they are

  1. I was just texting a girl friend today I knew from the “before time” who told me about her new love, I told her that if things went that far, I would love to be a bridesmaid.
    As to your girlfriend, I sure she didn’t invite you to be her bridesmaid to make a spectacle of yourself. Share with her about your considerations, you owe her that much. She is counting on you to be there for her so if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for her.

  2. While the wedding did not happen in the spring of this year, I still (when we finally save enough to have the wedding we want to have) want you to be a part of it. We have been there for each other on so many occasions emotionally, to me you are no different a person except the bright smile you now wear on your face.

  3. *
    Liz, please help.

    I tried connecting to your ‘B is for (a New) Beginning’ link. My browser posts that site is gone.

    Is there a way to restore that post or maybe re-post it to a current link?

    Thank you.

    • The wedding got delayed for various reasons. I’m waiting to hear when it might be scheduled again. The couple themselves are already a common law marriage. They just wanted to make it official but aren’t too worried about when.

  4. *
    ‘transgenderless’ will not even accept WordPress members: ‘ is marked private by its owner. If you were invited to view this site, please log in below.’.

    Oh well.

  5. *
    I somehow found ‘Transgenderless’ (an Adobe PDF document authored by Tran and Glazer – ‘’). Was this the ‘Transgenerless’ link that was disconnected from your post?. Was Harvard’s article part of that link or is this article something different? It is a good read nevertheless.

    I tried again today; this is the entry I get for an Internet search:


    B is for (a New) Beginning
    We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us.


    Was this that link from your blog post? It remains closed when I click on the highlighted URL link (‘’): ‘Warning! Domain mapping upgrade for this domain not found. Please log in and go to the Domains Upgrades page of your blog to use this domain.’.

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