Odds, Ends, and the Summer Solstice

I’m not particularly religious one way or another but going back to my youth I’ve had an affinity for Pagans and Paganism, at least as it is practiced today. I think part of this was my ease of relating to a loving Goddess figure rather than a vengeful God. Believe me, growing up in coal mine and steel mill country made me more than aware of the vengeful God aspect of things and that how I saw myself was considered an “abomination” by others. You learn to hide, suppress, loathe, and hate yourself under those circumstances, and it can take a long time to come to grips with all that.

And while I can wish that I’d come to grips with this far earlier in life, reality is what it is and I have to make due with what I have in the here and now. Thankfully, the spiro seems to be continuing to work but now I’m awaiting the results of my latest blood test to see where I stand on my T-levels. I suspect they are down but not down far enough. I’ll have to ask my endocrinologist what the next step is going to be.

I missed a date last night with a friend and an acquaintance I’d made online. She was in the city for another reason but only staying a day. I wanted to go but between work running late and her being 45 miles away on the opposite side of the city, by the time I got free, it was too late. I sent a text message asking forgiveness from both of them with a message that I hope to meet her the next time she is in the city.

The thing that is bugging me the absolute most right now is beard shadow. I hate it, I despise it, but I’m still a few months away from having the cash to make an appointment at  E3000. I am so looking forward to going there. They have an awesome reputation and can move you through the painful process of facial hair removal far faster than other means.

I recently encountered transwomen who think that being trans is no more dangerous than being a white woman in suburbia. I’ve seen statistics that do not support that claim and I’ve met many transwomen who have experienced violence directed against them purely because they are trans. And that doesn’t even count the outright discrimination just for being trans, something that some of us cannot easily hide.

I am working on a diet with a goal of 10-15 pounds off by summer’s end. It will require work but I know I can do it. Wish me luck!


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