The Pain of Accepting Oneself

My spouse and I have reached a point where we realize we can’t be together going forward. I need to be honest with myself and true to myself. Not only has my own therapist said this but now my spouse’s therapist said this as well. Both of them have spent time with us and concluded that we’re fooling ourselves if we believe the other person is going to change in a way to make the other happy.

So that’s it. Thirty five years of marriage, three kids, and four grandchildren and we’re done. Worse, the kids are angry towards me and vindictive so I’m not going to be allowed to see my grandchildren either.

My decision to be honest, to be true to myself, now means that people to whom I’ve given thirty five years of my life now despise me. To have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, til death do us part does not mean what it says. It’s poetic license and sad poetic license at that.

My children are coming over this weekend to confront me, to question me, and to try to put me on the spot. But I am going to hold to the words that my spouse’s therapist told me – be true to yourself and don’t let others coerce you.

I hope this doesn’t turn ugly.


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